Mr an Mrs Eejit is twa unbraw, hackit, ill-farrant, doitit fowk that spends thair lifes playin nestie cantrips on ilk ither. Thay enjoy bein ill tae ainimals an aw, that thay dae by ticin birds tae glue-smuirt trees sae thay can be beuk intae bird pie, an tarragattin thair pet puggies, Muggle-Wump an his faimily, by gettin thaim tae staund heelster-gowdie, ane atap the ither. Thay hate bairns, an Mrs Eejit aft cairies a staff in her richt haund that she uises for tae hit bairns an ainimals.
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